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fowl_beastDuh, why didn't I think of this before?
Professor Oddenstien, his portal to the killerwatt plane. Hello, fixed door to a realm he could teleport around in?
Previously, Evil Chicken had thought that Oddenstein's portal machine was a failure. Finding a non-magical means to teleport between realms was progress, but it was nowhere near the goal Evil Chicken had in mind.
Well, it was somewhere near his ultimate goal, so, keeping the machine around instead of "fixing" it so it could teleport things within a realm seemed like a good idea.
Now, it seemed like the greatest idea ever. The killerwatt plane was a great hiding place. No one he knew had the patience to search a whole realm full of sentient thunderclouds and other assorted electric beasts.
And so it had been with Lady Palana and her hunters. They came into the manor house searching for the chicken and the apple. When they finally came upstairs to Oddenstein's laboratory they saw the portal open and knew they had lost the chicken and the apple. They had waited at the portal for some hours in hopes that the apple would come back through, but it never did. The apple was already back in the realm it came from, in room 231-1 in the bar at the end of the universe.
Shortly after the hunters left, Oddenstien placed a beacon in the killerwatt plane to let Evil Chicken know they had left.
Evil Chicken walked out of the portal. "So, glad I didn't tell you to scrap this machine."
"It would have been reconfigured for my next experiment, not scrapped. Your insistence on keeping it working has slowed me down; now I have to build another one! It took me a very long time just to build the parts for this machine," said Oddenstien.
"And now that you know how to build the parts, it won't take that long."
"It would take less time to reconfigure this machine! It was a time machine once, I am sure it can do intraplanar teleportation!" The aged scientist was beginning to pull at his hair.
"No, it's valuable like this, especially now. Aren't you making a bit of money off the portal anyway? Just send more of those pesky adventurers through it, charge more for it."
"Yes, but money isn't the problem. Do you want your teleporter built or not?"
"Yes. That is what I am paying you for!"
"And yet you want me to keep this portal up and running? Building this machine and its parts has been my life's work, I would need another lifetime to build another one."
"What about your assistant? What about that corrupted crystal technology she has been talking about?"
"She is crazy, she's dreaming! I think she has been drinking with that barkeep in Varrock too often. She has begun saying that this world is nothing but a game played on a magic box run by her imaginary crystals. She spends all her money buying bones now-a-days saying she's preparing for something."
"You said her ideas had merit."
"Yes, but how are we supposed to use them? The things she proposes... it would take several generations to build the technology to manufacture those crystals of hers. I don't even know if the chemical elements she proposes using even exist."
Evil Chicken stared. Professor Oddenstein's technobabble was hard to follow sometimes. "It exists, they exist. I have seen it."
Oh yes, Evil Chicken, one of the multiverse's most seasoned travelers. Of course he has seen it. Somewhere out there there has to be a civilization advanced enough to use that crazy semiconductor technology. "What good does that do us? I can't take apart the machine to make it a time machine and steal what I need from the future."
"You won't have to. I can procure these items from places where the technology already exists. Besides, I think if you did build it using what you did before, it would turn out to be... inconvenient. I wanted a personal teleporter, and you repurposed this big bulky machine of yours to create a portal to a useless plane. Those vaacu-"
"It is not useless, that plane is powering the machine, and can power so much more. It is not useless, otherwise you would have let me shut down the portal long ago so I could at least give it another try." Professor Oddenstien's face was turning red. "If you knew I couldn't build what you wanted, why did you continue funding my research?"
Another stare from Evil Chicken. "To keep you busy." Evil Chicken turned toward the portal. "Make a list of the parts you need, make drawings, put in information about what each part does to the electricity. I will be back in a couple of days. I am going to find out who those goons who were after me talk to about that apple of mine."
"What was so special about that apple?"
"Nothing." It wasn't a unique apple. Evil Chicken stepped through the portal. It was harvest time.
Professor Oddenstien, his portal to the killerwatt plane. Hello, fixed door to a realm he could teleport around in?
Previously, Evil Chicken had thought that Oddenstein's portal machine was a failure. Finding a non-magical means to teleport between realms was progress, but it was nowhere near the goal Evil Chicken had in mind.
Well, it was somewhere near his ultimate goal, so, keeping the machine around instead of "fixing" it so it could teleport things within a realm seemed like a good idea.
Now, it seemed like the greatest idea ever. The killerwatt plane was a great hiding place. No one he knew had the patience to search a whole realm full of sentient thunderclouds and other assorted electric beasts.
And so it had been with Lady Palana and her hunters. They came into the manor house searching for the chicken and the apple. When they finally came upstairs to Oddenstein's laboratory they saw the portal open and knew they had lost the chicken and the apple. They had waited at the portal for some hours in hopes that the apple would come back through, but it never did. The apple was already back in the realm it came from, in room 231-1 in the bar at the end of the universe.
Shortly after the hunters left, Oddenstien placed a beacon in the killerwatt plane to let Evil Chicken know they had left.
Evil Chicken walked out of the portal. "So, glad I didn't tell you to scrap this machine."
"It would have been reconfigured for my next experiment, not scrapped. Your insistence on keeping it working has slowed me down; now I have to build another one! It took me a very long time just to build the parts for this machine," said Oddenstien.
"And now that you know how to build the parts, it won't take that long."
"It would take less time to reconfigure this machine! It was a time machine once, I am sure it can do intraplanar teleportation!" The aged scientist was beginning to pull at his hair.
"No, it's valuable like this, especially now. Aren't you making a bit of money off the portal anyway? Just send more of those pesky adventurers through it, charge more for it."
"Yes, but money isn't the problem. Do you want your teleporter built or not?"
"Yes. That is what I am paying you for!"
"And yet you want me to keep this portal up and running? Building this machine and its parts has been my life's work, I would need another lifetime to build another one."
"What about your assistant? What about that corrupted crystal technology she has been talking about?"
"She is crazy, she's dreaming! I think she has been drinking with that barkeep in Varrock too often. She has begun saying that this world is nothing but a game played on a magic box run by her imaginary crystals. She spends all her money buying bones now-a-days saying she's preparing for something."
"You said her ideas had merit."
"Yes, but how are we supposed to use them? The things she proposes... it would take several generations to build the technology to manufacture those crystals of hers. I don't even know if the chemical elements she proposes using even exist."
Evil Chicken stared. Professor Oddenstein's technobabble was hard to follow sometimes. "It exists, they exist. I have seen it."
Oh yes, Evil Chicken, one of the multiverse's most seasoned travelers. Of course he has seen it. Somewhere out there there has to be a civilization advanced enough to use that crazy semiconductor technology. "What good does that do us? I can't take apart the machine to make it a time machine and steal what I need from the future."
"You won't have to. I can procure these items from places where the technology already exists. Besides, I think if you did build it using what you did before, it would turn out to be... inconvenient. I wanted a personal teleporter, and you repurposed this big bulky machine of yours to create a portal to a useless plane. Those vaacu-"
"It is not useless, that plane is powering the machine, and can power so much more. It is not useless, otherwise you would have let me shut down the portal long ago so I could at least give it another try." Professor Oddenstien's face was turning red. "If you knew I couldn't build what you wanted, why did you continue funding my research?"
Another stare from Evil Chicken. "To keep you busy." Evil Chicken turned toward the portal. "Make a list of the parts you need, make drawings, put in information about what each part does to the electricity. I will be back in a couple of days. I am going to find out who those goons who were after me talk to about that apple of mine."
"What was so special about that apple?"
"Nothing." It wasn't a unique apple. Evil Chicken stepped through the portal. It was harvest time.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 01:37 am (UTC)